What do you do

What do you do when you cant live in peace cause of your past.
When every bad memory slashes through you like knives.
What do you do when you cant live in peace cause of the present.
When everything is jumbled up in a big mess and all you do is stress.
What do you do when you cant live in peace for fear of the future.
When everything is so unknown and the world seems like such a scary place alone.

Quietness

I've written my whole life.  Books stacked on books of everyday thoughts, life memories, or just drawings.  I was always the one to be told to be quiet. Always the one who's opinion was never asked.  The one who no one ever wanted to hear from.  To this day I'm still scarred with quietness.

Some people would call that a bad thing.  I call it good.  

I listen and observe, which has allowed me to be main support for people and gain a deeper knowledge of those people then most.

I write to let out emotion or pain, instead of doing something worse.

I keep to myself and allow people who actually want to talk with me come to me first. I've gained true friends that way.

It helped me gain a voice the older I got.  By finally wanting to voice my own thoughts and opinions.

In a way I grew stronger having to deal with things alone, and learn from them.

To be quiet is not a failure or a weakness.  Theres a voice deep inside. Whether it comes out in words, drawings, writings, it shouldn't matter.  As long as it means something to you is all that matters.  

Quietness is a blessing in disguise.

Two-sided

How do you not see the damage you do?
Your so two-sided
You ask for something---- its yours.
You want info-----its given
You want love---- you get it
You want understanding----- here you go
You want respect ----- now you are
etc.etc.etc.etc.

But heres the thing
For me
I ask for something ----- hell no
I want info ----- um why need it?
I want love ----- fake smiles all around
I want understanding ----- just blame thrown at me
I want respect ------- pshhh thats out the door

You'll never see the hurt it causes
The pain, aggravation, and distrust it causes.

So why say were the same.
Why say no ones treated differently.
When all you are
Is two-sided.